The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) is currently negotiating with Meghan McCain, the daughter of failed Presidential hopeful Senator John McCain, to spearhead a desperate mission to save Earth from a 10-mile wide killer asteroid that is on a collision course with our planet. NASA plans to use a Saturn V rocket to launch Meghan into deep space where she will be able focus her considerable gravitational prowess on the wayward asteroid -- thereby diverting it into a benign solar orbit that is no longer a threat to Earth. Ms. McCain, who is very enthusiastic about her new role, as the sole savior of mankind, stated in an interview:
"Ooh, I just think that it is SO mondo cool that I am now receiving all of the attention that I so richly deserve. I know it's hard to believe, but before this little crisis of astronomical proportions, it was like, WTF, don't these people KNOW who I AM? FINALLY! Everything is as it SHOULD be, with the ENTIRE world focused on NASA's efforts to use little ol' ME to save planet Earth."
Senator John McCain, who is equally enthusiastic about his daughter's newfound notoriety, commented:
"I am THRILLED that my little girl is finally getting everything that she deserves -- kudos to NASA for giving her the lead role in this critical mission -- with a LITERAL position where she can look down on all the little people of planet Earth, you know, the ones that don't have as many people following their Twitter posts, and where she'll have a direct, dedicated communications channel, not only with the American people, but also with people around the globe -- where she can extoll the virtues of moderate Republicanism, and warn others about the "meanness" that is inherent in "true conservatism".
My collie says: "It'd be a REAL shame if NASA somehow lost contact with her royal immenseness, wouldn't it?"
Collie, did you deliver those orbital trajectory computations to NASA for Meghan's return trip to Earth -- like I told you?
My collie says: "Absolutely. Is it my fault that they keep getting the English and metric calculations mixed up?"
Collie, you dirty dog.
My collie says: "You can tell that meanie Michelle Malkin that we just might be hearing considerably less from Ms. McCain."
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